Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Workshop: Critiques

Whispering the Despair

My friend's whole paragraph was about a young man who trying to call back his memories with his late father. This makes the story is good to everyone who reads and will bring us to feel what the protagonist felt too.

Something that I like in this paragraph:




  • The figurative language that used in the sentences are cute and it makes me trying to imagine what the writer try to tell us about.


  • The writer used simple sentences, words and some of the situations are really happen in real life that somehow tell the reader to appreacite more about life.


  • Another thing is, the writer makes the readers think that even we had lost someone who are important to us, we should not forget the memories about them. because sometimes, it will give us motivations to be better.


Something to improve in this paragraph:




  • The writer need to improve his grammar and some of his choices of words.


  • The choices of font, the font he used will caused the readers confused because the comma and the fullstop look just the same.

Workshop: Prompt

Adham walked to the cafe to meet someone. He saw Ana in one of the corner there. He come towards her and have his seat. They both just sitting there without anyone starts talking. Suddenly, Ana break the silence between them, "Look, I need my pills," said Ana softly. "What pills? I don't understand. Are you ill?" Adham asking her back in a cold tone. "Your pills. I need it now! Please," she said again. But Adham still remains the same looking at the surrounding without any respons. He didn't talk much as he did usually and still as cold as an iceberg. He refuse to understand her. "I've told you about it. Don't pretend to not knowing about it. I'm feeling so bad right now," she added. She sigh and take a deep breath before continuing her words, "It's already two days since you being like this. I don't like it. I can't have a happy day without your smile, your jokes and witout hearing your laugh," she said in a very low tone. Seems that she started to crying.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Example of dialogue:

"I never want to see you again!" Adham said to Hani. He was so angry after what she did to him last night.

"I am sorry. I know it was my fault and I should not do that. Please forgive me my dear. I will never do it again. Could you give me another chance please?" she asking him for apologize.

"Today is the end of this matter. I will never believe you anymore because everything that happen between us now started because of you" he said to her again. Then, he just walked away without looking back and left her alone in regret.




(C) Nurul Farhana. 2011. All Right Reserve.

The story of me: ONE FINE DAY


CHARACTER

Character profile with lists of attributes: main character ADHAM

He is a kampung boy from Pahang. His age is 22 years old and still studying in university. A thin but not so small and he wasn't so tall. However, he is a nice looking guy. Other characteristics of him are he has a kind heart, smart, sensitive, naughty, loves to jokes, funny and a shy guy. But, it is just nice if people get to know him because he makes people comfortable of who he is. He doesn't speak too much unless you are close with him. In particular situations, it could be said that he is also a pampered guy. It was hard to see this guy in anger, but he could change his mood spontaneously like a chameleon that change it's colors. This guy loves to observe anything that is happening around him and makes them as lessons, takes the good and leave the bad thing about it. He is nice and everyone loves him. Has his own personality that he never try to be and act like others. Most of all he is just a simple guy.

A paragraph from the characters perspectives:

It’s coffee time after I had a hard day today. It really was a busy day, however I’ve passed every challenges today with smiles. I’ve just read an article about a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend in that blog. She blamed her ex of what she had gone through. Should I blame my ex too? Nah! She already did to me. How did I know she is the story maker? I also had my spy. I realize that everywhere I go everyone is looking down at me now and stared at me with anger and annoyed looks. Did they know the true story? Of course not, because she only the one who tells the story as I kept it to myself. Why should I think about the past? It’s funny even I felt hurt.

It is true that in relationship, some girls might think that guys are bad and sucks. I won’t agree with them and I wondered what's wrong with them? Do you girls think that men like us don’t have heart like yours have? It’s insanely cruel if you think we are because we too are human like you all. That is why I think that they are even worse than we are. That's just what I thought after what I had experienced in my relationship with some girls before. But, was it what we usually will go through before we found the real love in our life? Some will have sad story while some others will have a very nice story. It was so unfair to me because mine was a very sad and tragic story. I wished that was just a dream and when I wake up, all the memories will vanish together with the pain inside my heart. Well, I don't care what people think and talk about me, I know myself better. No matter what, I will never give up on myself. My family and friends are also there to support me always. With them, I’m not afraid of anything for sure. Right now on, I will focus on what to achieve in my life first. Yes! That’s the spirit! I will fight and win over you.

Ah! My mind always makes me regretting my past. I should stop it before they makes me crazy. Stop reading all these rubbish. They are not true at all. Making stories to gets sympathized from friends and grabs attention from guys I think. Where I am now? Yeah, I need to finish this assignment before I go playing football with my friends. I couldn’t wait for it, it’s been a long time. Now, I will close that sad story book so that I will create all happy story for my life again. Stay cheers, Adham!

SETTING

A set of attributes of a chosen setting:

Setting of PLACE: University: residential college, Students Park, my room.

Setting of TIME: Current time, some flashback.

A paragraph about the setting:

Hey! It is 12 at midnight and it is October the fifth, my 21st birthday. And it is my great day, they are going to celebrate my birthday tonight at the Students Park nearby my residential college. All of them are mostly my best friends, but not the girls. I can barely remember those entire girls name. But, I did feels happy for they were there for the celebration. People said, the more the merrier. Ah, that was the song that I’ve been waiting for. Yeah! They sang “Happy birthday to me” and now let’s cut the cake. I really love chocolate cake. We have a nice time together as everyone eat all the delicious meals with the fried chickens, satays, pizzas and cake. After that the boys chased me and suddenly I was covered by flour and some eggs on my head. A bit smelly and sticky, but I already know their plans and that I could not escape from them all. That was the tradition for our group on every member’s birthday. When the party was over, we separated and went back to our room.

I am alone now, after had some shower and getting cleaned from all the flour and sticky eggs. Yakk, my shirt was so dirty. How will I cleaned it? Never mind, I will think about it later. Then, I log in to my facebook account and had some chit chat to friends who wished for my birthday. Surprisingly, I also had a message in my account inbox. It’s from a girl. Oh, I hate girls after what happened to me before. They act like angels but who knows inside them? Some of them could win the best actress of the year award I guest. Hmm, what happened to the world now? Ahh, just forget about it Adham, I said to myself. Soon, I come back to reality and try to remember this girl. But, she might be the ones from that birthday party I guest in my mind. So, I just added her as my friend. Chatting with her was awesomely fun, she was really simple and fun and she also knows how to jokes. Even I’ve just know her for hours, she makes me wants to chat more and more with her. I really want to get to know her closer because she makes me feel free and I was so happy. In a simple sentence, she did made my day. What a nice day I had today, a very great one fine day!

(C) Nurul Farhana. 2011. All Right Reserve.