Sunday, December 11, 2011

Short Story: Draft 2

One Fine Day

I think about something in my mind, the beginning of this story of me and her.

“Happy Birthday and have a great moment yeah!” she said to me.

I read it from my Facebook inbox that day. I wonder who this girl is. Later then I added her as my friend. Her name is Adrianna and she was there on my birthday party but I did not realize her. Then, we chit-chatting and commenting each other in my birthday photo gallery.

Now, it had been a month since I know her. Everything happens on my birthday, while my friends were celebrating my party in the students’ park in our residential college. She was the ‘photographer’ that night and she was the one who took all our pictures. Plus, she was the one who upload the photo and I put them all in my photo gallery. I could not stop myself from thinking about her. The truth is, we are getting close to each other since that night.

“Adham, you seem like having affair with that girl aren’t you?” asked Zam, one of my best friend when I dropped in their room.

Then G his roommate interrupting and added, “Yeah! That’s true, I know you both commenting each other again last night. Like only both of you exist in that photo and Facebook world.”

They try to make a scandal between me and Adrianna.

“Hey, not only last night lah. It started since his birthday lah! Remember?” said Zam to G.

But, I just laugh and said, “No. Nothing lah! She is just friend like others too.”

Then we went out to have lunch in “Azura” one of our most visited restaurants since we started studying here in The National University of Malaysia. Tonight as usual we will come again to watch football match between Manchester United and Liverpool. Oh, you cannot tell how much I love Manchester! There, we ate and after finishing our foods we went back to our room.

“Don’t forget tonight at eight sharp!” said Zam to me. I just nodded at him and smile.

In my room, I did some ‘cleaning’ then I open my laptop and online. My mind keeps thinking of someone, and I waited her to online. There she is, I wanted to have some more chit chat with her.

“Assalamualaikum. Hai there!” I started.

Then she replied, “ Waalaikumussalam. Hello, how are you?”

“I’m great. Thank You Adrianna! You are so concern.” I replied.

“Just make words to started conversation lah!” then she laugh.

I added, “So naughty. What are you doing tonight Adrianna? Busy?”

“Not as busy as you I guest? Just doing assignments and then went to lala land. By the way, I have told you to just call me Ana, okay?” she said.

“Okay Ana. Can we have some more chit chat tonight?” I asked her.

“Yeah sure. Buzz me when you are around. Okay. Bye Adham,” she answered me.

“I will. Bye Ana,” I replied her and smile in happiness.

I really cannot wait for tonight, I hope the football match will be so awesome and then I will have an awesome moment with this girl too. She is someone so different with other girls. What is so special about her until I keep thinking about her since I know her? I cannot explain by myself. I just feel something different. But then, something interrupts my day dreams. I have got a phone call from my ex girlfriend, Hani. We just broke up about two months ago. I wonder why she is still haunting me.

“Yes.” I answered her called.

“Hai. How are you? Can we meet somewhere? Please,” she asked me.

I said, “No. Don’t bother. I won’t see you again.”

She started to cry and begging me, “Please, it won’t be long. Just meet for a few minutes only.”

“Could you stop crying? Where? What time?” I asked her back.

“Right now. In the students park. I promised you it won’t be long,” she said.

“Okay. Now,” I said and cut the called.

Then I walked to the park, she is there already. This girl is the one who had hurt my heart a lot until I do not want to see her face ever again. I wish I never knew her before. I really don’t like to hear her crying like that on my face while I done nothing bad to her. What am I? A hungry monster who will eat you alive? You are the guilty one, but you make people thinks that the truth was you are the victim of a man like me. You twist the truth about the ending of our relationship story. What a great story maker and what an annoying person you are!

“What do you want?” I asked her without she could say anything.

"I never want to see your face ever again!" I said to Hani without even looking at her face. I was so angry after what she did to me and still angry.

"I am sorry. I know it was my fault and I should not do that. Please forgive me my dear. I will never do it again. Could you give me another chance please?" she keep asking me for apologizes.

"Our relationship was over. You have no more chance. I will never believe you anymore because everything that happened between us now started because of you. Just forget me and find someone else okay. Good bye." I said to her again. Then, I just walked away without looking back and left her alone crying in regret.

I went to my room and have some shower. They I pray Asar and sleep for a while to rest my mind until Maghrib. After done the prayer, I get ready to go to Azura again for the football match. I waited for Zam and G to come to my room. They are always late.

“Don’t forget tonight at eight sharp!” I recall what Zam said to me before.

“You forget it by yourself, so you should remind yourself Zam,” I thought about it in my head and just smiling. Then they come and we went to the place by Zam’s car. Tonight we had another company, Mamat who is also in our group. Actually,we have a group called “The Ninja”. Only we know about it and it was so funny that we had group with girls too. I just realized that Adrianna is also one of our group members. What a co-incidence.

“You see. Our friend is always smiling alone now. Have you become crazy or there is someone dancing in your eyes now hah Adham?” G said to me.

Then Zam added, “Ya lah. When we talked to you also you didn’t hear us. Feels like punching straight to your nose.”

Then they laugh. Mamat also interrupts and said, “Hey! Don’t disturb him lah. Adrianna is dancing in his eyes now and calling him.”

Then they laugh more and more. But I just smile and ignore them. This people really cannot stop talking about me. However, I did not mind at all. They know my entire story because we are best friends since our first year in this university even we all are studying in different courses and from different faculty. About me and Hani, nothing they missed. They always will to be with me no matter what happened to me. I love them so much!

We just arrived at Azura and sit at one of the corner there and we had ordered for our food. While waiting for our foods, Zam said something that caught my ears, and I pay attention for that.

“It’s ok what? She is a nice girl. I don’t really know her personally. But I know she is a nice girl.” I saw G and Mamat nodded as if they were agree with what Zam said.

“Ya lah. You also are single now. It’s not a problem to try and find someone else. Make sure you find someone better and be serious lah. At least you can forget Hani and be happy and normal again,” said G.

“We will always supported you man! That what friends should be right?” Zam added.

Mamat was just nodding because he always did not talk much like the others.

Then, they stop talking about her. Suddenly, Zam starts singing in low tones. I heard his baits like, “Oh my Adrianna, my Ana darling, my dear, my Ana.” Then G and Mamat followed what he did. G becomes Zam’s backup singer, while Mamat acted as if he is a drummer and he tapping the table. I just sit in silence and watched them. Feels like punching them all. After finishing their ‘performance’ they looked at me and smile with full meanings. Me, as usual just smiling and ignore what they did.

There our foods are, serving by the waiter. At least it could stop their naughtiness. We ate our food and have some conversations after that. But luckily they did not mention about Adrianna again. Not long after that, the football match started and we shouted for our favorite team in each excite moments. At the end, the result is 2-1, which the winner was my Manchester.

Then we went back to our place, I mean our room. It’s the time I have been waiting for. I online and find her name to make sure her online status. I buzz her as I said I will before.

“Assalamualaikum. Hai Ana,” I started.

“Waalaikumussalam. Hello Adham,” she replied.

“What’s up? Busy with assignments?,” I asked her to make sure I did not disturb her.

“Nope. Finished already. Just online and had some chat with friends,” she said.

I felt something and asked, “Friends or boyfriend?”

She laugh via words and said, “No lah. All my girl friends only. I’m single okay?”

I feel relief, and smile. Then I added, “Seriously, are you still single?”

“Yup. I am. Why did you ask me that?” she asked me too.

“Just want to know about it. I do not want to get punch by your boyfriend if he knows I am chatting with you,” I told her.

Then she said, “No worries. No punch from anyone. Or I supposed to be worried if later your girlfriend will attack me in the café and I might had ‘curry mee’ as wig on top of my head huh?”

Suddenly I laugh when reading her words. She is fun and cute. All she did was always pleasant to me. I really feel that I am in love with her. I never experience these feelings even with my ex-girlfriend before. She had my heart already and suddenly I remember what Zam and others had told me. Then I realized that it was true. Why shouldn’t I try, because it was not a crime at all to fall in love when you just broke up two months ago. I think that I should grab this chance, because all I could think right now is always about her.

“Ana, are you free tomorrow in the afternoon?” I asked her to look for the chance.

“Yup. Definitely I’m free but until 2 0’clock only. I have class after that. Why?” she asked me back.

“Shall we meet tomorrow around 12.30pm in the café? Will you?” I ask her again.

“Erm. Okay. But I am a bit nervous because we never meet face to face before,” she said.

“I am, too. Seriously you don’t mind to meet me tomorrow?” I asked for conformation.

“Yeah. I’m okay. Well, see you tomorrow. Good night Adham,” says Ana.

“Okay. Good night. Sweet dreams Ana,” I wish her.

Feel like telling her “I want to chat more with you and I fall in love with you.” But, I just cannot do that. So, I keep it in my mind. I need to plan something nice for tomorrow. But I do not know how. I really don’t know how to say something so beautiful. Maybe, I just will straight to the point. I will express my feeling to her tomorrow when I meet her for lunch.

I keep questioning in my head, “How if she refuses me? Will she accept me? She did say that she is nervous for tomorrow. What does that mean? Did she feel the same like me?” I cannot even close my eyes tonight. I could not stop thinking about her. Adrianna, how special you are to me.

I wake up at 10.30 in the morning, luckily I did not have any classes today. After shower, I clean my room and preparing for my date this afternoon.

When it’s the time, I went to the café and sit in one of the ‘table for two’ there. I do not want anyone to interrupts while I am with Ana. I waited for her in nervous.

“Assalamualaikum.” A girl greets me from my back. I turn my head to her, and there she is. So beautiful and looks polite with the baju kurung. I answered her and asked her to sit with me. Her face looks red because she was shy, and she did not look at my face at all. I think she looks funny that way, but also cute.

“Let’s have our food and have some conversation after this,” I told her.

“Okay,” she agrees with me.

Then we go and take our lunch, after I paid than we sit back at our table. I treat her for today, because I wanted to do so. We eat without talking so much, I realized that she was a shy girl.

“Thank you Adham. Next time, it is my turn to treat you,” she said after finishing her food.

“It’s okay. This is what I really wanted to do,” I told her and smile.

She smiles back at me. I love to see her smiling like that. I love her. We talked about a lot of things and have fun together even just ‘dating’ at the café. She is good in making jokes.

Then I know that I have to start telling her about my feeling. It was something that was not so easy to say. But, at least I will try to confess her my feelings.

“Ana, actually I have something to tell you,” I started.

“Oh. Yeah, just tell me Adham,” she said.

Then I look deep inside her eyes, and she look at me too. Like some strength comes to me, so I said, “I like you since the first time I knew you on Facebook. You are so cute, fun, and I always happy when I am with you. But now, it was changed. Now, I fall in love with you Adrianna. You are someone special to me. Will you be mine?”

She looks deep in my eyes and looks like so surprise, then she looks down and her face looks red again. Blushing I guest. Maybe she never imagined that I will said that to her this afternoon. It might be so sudden to her. I feel something like ‘despair’ in my heart. But, I did not show it to her. Few moments we are in silent, before she started to looks at me again.

“Adham. This is so fast. I don’t know what to say. But, actually, I also like you,” she said.

“So, will you accept me?” I asked her again. Then I looked at her straight to her eyes. She just smiling, but then nodded her head.

“Yeayyyyyy!!!” I shouted happily without even realized where I am that time. I can see everyone looks at me and Ana. I don’t care at all because I feel so happy of her acceptance.

“Thank you Adrianna. I love you. And I will always love you my girlfriend,” I told her.

But she still looks around because people still looked at us after I shouted. She seems shy and when she looks back at me, I saw her smile.

“Well. I need to go now. I’ve class after this. See you later boyfriend,” she said.

“Keep in touch yeah! I’ll wait for you. Take care girlfriend,” I wish her.

Then she left, and I went back to my room. This was the best day in my life! One fine day, it happens when I first connect with her on my birthday night. But, today was the greatest day! She is the best thing that ever happens to me. I love you Adrianna!


(2751 words)



(C) Nurul Farhana. 2011. All Right Reserve.

Free verse poem: ONLY YOU!

Oh, it’s you!

The one and only you

The miracle you brings together

Make me feels different from other

As lightning crushed deep inside

I couldn’t put you a side

You are the pills of my heart

You heal me from sadness

You heal me from bitterness

You heal me from everything

Everything that poisoning me

You are the sugar of my soul

You give me the happiness

You give me the strength

You give me everything

Everything that makes me delight

You color my day with rainbow

So beautiful and full with rejoice

You make me learn to sing

You make me learn to dance

You make me learn to laugh

You make me learn my feelings

How am I without you?

The one and only you

I don’t care about the thunder

I don’t care about the hurricane

I don’t care about the storm

As long as we are together

I’ll be your umbrella when it’s raining

I’ll be your sweater when it’s cold

I’ll be your wind when it’s hot

I’ll be anything for you

Together with you makes me alive

I am dare to drown in the deep sea

I am willing to the feel pain of being beaten

I am able to fall from a mountain

Because I only want to be with you

Doesn’t matter how much obstacle I will go through

Even if I might sacrifice my own soul

Only for being with you

The one and only you

I could change dark to be light

I could turn glass to be diamonds

I could twist bad to be good

Just for my dear you

The one and only you



(C) Nurul Farhana. 2011. All Right Reserve.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Workshop: Critiques

Whispering the Despair

My friend's whole paragraph was about a young man who trying to call back his memories with his late father. This makes the story is good to everyone who reads and will bring us to feel what the protagonist felt too.

Something that I like in this paragraph:




  • The figurative language that used in the sentences are cute and it makes me trying to imagine what the writer try to tell us about.


  • The writer used simple sentences, words and some of the situations are really happen in real life that somehow tell the reader to appreacite more about life.


  • Another thing is, the writer makes the readers think that even we had lost someone who are important to us, we should not forget the memories about them. because sometimes, it will give us motivations to be better.


Something to improve in this paragraph:




  • The writer need to improve his grammar and some of his choices of words.


  • The choices of font, the font he used will caused the readers confused because the comma and the fullstop look just the same.

Workshop: Prompt

Adham walked to the cafe to meet someone. He saw Ana in one of the corner there. He come towards her and have his seat. They both just sitting there without anyone starts talking. Suddenly, Ana break the silence between them, "Look, I need my pills," said Ana softly. "What pills? I don't understand. Are you ill?" Adham asking her back in a cold tone. "Your pills. I need it now! Please," she said again. But Adham still remains the same looking at the surrounding without any respons. He didn't talk much as he did usually and still as cold as an iceberg. He refuse to understand her. "I've told you about it. Don't pretend to not knowing about it. I'm feeling so bad right now," she added. She sigh and take a deep breath before continuing her words, "It's already two days since you being like this. I don't like it. I can't have a happy day without your smile, your jokes and witout hearing your laugh," she said in a very low tone. Seems that she started to crying.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Example of dialogue:

"I never want to see you again!" Adham said to Hani. He was so angry after what she did to him last night.

"I am sorry. I know it was my fault and I should not do that. Please forgive me my dear. I will never do it again. Could you give me another chance please?" she asking him for apologize.

"Today is the end of this matter. I will never believe you anymore because everything that happen between us now started because of you" he said to her again. Then, he just walked away without looking back and left her alone in regret.




(C) Nurul Farhana. 2011. All Right Reserve.

The story of me: ONE FINE DAY


CHARACTER

Character profile with lists of attributes: main character ADHAM

He is a kampung boy from Pahang. His age is 22 years old and still studying in university. A thin but not so small and he wasn't so tall. However, he is a nice looking guy. Other characteristics of him are he has a kind heart, smart, sensitive, naughty, loves to jokes, funny and a shy guy. But, it is just nice if people get to know him because he makes people comfortable of who he is. He doesn't speak too much unless you are close with him. In particular situations, it could be said that he is also a pampered guy. It was hard to see this guy in anger, but he could change his mood spontaneously like a chameleon that change it's colors. This guy loves to observe anything that is happening around him and makes them as lessons, takes the good and leave the bad thing about it. He is nice and everyone loves him. Has his own personality that he never try to be and act like others. Most of all he is just a simple guy.

A paragraph from the characters perspectives:

It’s coffee time after I had a hard day today. It really was a busy day, however I’ve passed every challenges today with smiles. I’ve just read an article about a girl who just broke up with her boyfriend in that blog. She blamed her ex of what she had gone through. Should I blame my ex too? Nah! She already did to me. How did I know she is the story maker? I also had my spy. I realize that everywhere I go everyone is looking down at me now and stared at me with anger and annoyed looks. Did they know the true story? Of course not, because she only the one who tells the story as I kept it to myself. Why should I think about the past? It’s funny even I felt hurt.

It is true that in relationship, some girls might think that guys are bad and sucks. I won’t agree with them and I wondered what's wrong with them? Do you girls think that men like us don’t have heart like yours have? It’s insanely cruel if you think we are because we too are human like you all. That is why I think that they are even worse than we are. That's just what I thought after what I had experienced in my relationship with some girls before. But, was it what we usually will go through before we found the real love in our life? Some will have sad story while some others will have a very nice story. It was so unfair to me because mine was a very sad and tragic story. I wished that was just a dream and when I wake up, all the memories will vanish together with the pain inside my heart. Well, I don't care what people think and talk about me, I know myself better. No matter what, I will never give up on myself. My family and friends are also there to support me always. With them, I’m not afraid of anything for sure. Right now on, I will focus on what to achieve in my life first. Yes! That’s the spirit! I will fight and win over you.

Ah! My mind always makes me regretting my past. I should stop it before they makes me crazy. Stop reading all these rubbish. They are not true at all. Making stories to gets sympathized from friends and grabs attention from guys I think. Where I am now? Yeah, I need to finish this assignment before I go playing football with my friends. I couldn’t wait for it, it’s been a long time. Now, I will close that sad story book so that I will create all happy story for my life again. Stay cheers, Adham!

SETTING

A set of attributes of a chosen setting:

Setting of PLACE: University: residential college, Students Park, my room.

Setting of TIME: Current time, some flashback.

A paragraph about the setting:

Hey! It is 12 at midnight and it is October the fifth, my 21st birthday. And it is my great day, they are going to celebrate my birthday tonight at the Students Park nearby my residential college. All of them are mostly my best friends, but not the girls. I can barely remember those entire girls name. But, I did feels happy for they were there for the celebration. People said, the more the merrier. Ah, that was the song that I’ve been waiting for. Yeah! They sang “Happy birthday to me” and now let’s cut the cake. I really love chocolate cake. We have a nice time together as everyone eat all the delicious meals with the fried chickens, satays, pizzas and cake. After that the boys chased me and suddenly I was covered by flour and some eggs on my head. A bit smelly and sticky, but I already know their plans and that I could not escape from them all. That was the tradition for our group on every member’s birthday. When the party was over, we separated and went back to our room.

I am alone now, after had some shower and getting cleaned from all the flour and sticky eggs. Yakk, my shirt was so dirty. How will I cleaned it? Never mind, I will think about it later. Then, I log in to my facebook account and had some chit chat to friends who wished for my birthday. Surprisingly, I also had a message in my account inbox. It’s from a girl. Oh, I hate girls after what happened to me before. They act like angels but who knows inside them? Some of them could win the best actress of the year award I guest. Hmm, what happened to the world now? Ahh, just forget about it Adham, I said to myself. Soon, I come back to reality and try to remember this girl. But, she might be the ones from that birthday party I guest in my mind. So, I just added her as my friend. Chatting with her was awesomely fun, she was really simple and fun and she also knows how to jokes. Even I’ve just know her for hours, she makes me wants to chat more and more with her. I really want to get to know her closer because she makes me feel free and I was so happy. In a simple sentence, she did made my day. What a nice day I had today, a very great one fine day!

(C) Nurul Farhana. 2011. All Right Reserve.